Transmission from the Glitchstream - File 001: Rip Van Mynx Wakes Up in a Shitty Timeline
What reality did I wake up in? I feel like I went to sleep sometime around 2006 and just now clawed my way out of a coma wearing cargo pants and eyeliner smudged from a party I don’t remember attending. I’m Rip Van Winkle, if Rip Van Winkle was born Gen X and woke up to discover the entire world had gone through a midlife crisis, joined a cult, and elected the worst possible timeline. What year is this? WHO the fuck did you just say is President?? What the ACTUAL fuck?! It’s been a long, nail-breaking climb out of a depression so deep it had its own zip code. And now that I’m finally— finally —on something resembling level ground, I’m staring down a reality that feels like a bad subplot in The Twilight Zone . Or, for the nerdier among you, Sliders . Seriously, what the hell, Universe? Our current timeline is so damn surreal. Up is down. The sky isn’t blue. And the right? So far wrong that Ronald Reagan is probably rolling over in his grave. Which is saying something, ...