Thursday, September 15, 2011

Dear potential employer....

Earlier today in a moment of what I thought was rather clever snark, I felt the need to tweet this into cyberspace:
Dear potential employer. Congrats on finding my Twitter feed. Your prize is a zombie unicorn. Call me to claim it and schedule an interview.
Yes, that's me making light of the fact that I do, in fact, have profiles on various social networking sites and I am completely aware of the fact that potential employers now use said profiles to determine whether or not candidates for job openings might be a good fit for their company.  (And yes, I am aware that someone reading this at any given point in time might be doing so for exactly that reason.)

The last time I was in the market for a new job, the social network of choice was MySpace, and I had made an effort to keep everything about my profile there disassociated from my real name.  You see, I knew that people had been fired and also denied jobs because of what could be found on their MySpace page.  Not that anything I had posted on my profile was necessarily bad.  That is to say, there were no pictures of me doing naked keg stands, no politically incorrect statements of opinion, and I wasn't selling porn on my blog.  I wasn't all that worried about what potential employers might find.  (For the record, I joined MySpace before MySpace was cool, so please keep your laughing to a minimum. Not only do I gift out my zombie unicorns, I also train them to attack people who laugh at me for having a MySpace page.) 

Fast forward to present day.

I am once again in the job market.  You can still find my all but abandoned MySpace page.  You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, digg,, StumbleUpon, deviantArt, LiveJournal,, LinkedIn, and now here on Blogger.  I'm sure I am missing a few sites, and that's okay.  I'm not on these sites because I'm looking to impress potential employers (with the exception of LinkedIn, of course).  I'm on these sites because I like to write, I hope to make a living doing so someday, and I like to connect with like-minded people.

And I'm not worried about what potential employers might find on any of these websites for two simple reasons. 

I have a rock solid work ethic AND a great sense of humor.

Ask any of my former co-workers.  They want me back.  They begged me not to go.  My boss wrote me a letter of recommendation suitable for framing.  You probably have it in my application package. 

Dear potential employer... congratulations on finding my blog. Your prize is a zombie unicorn. Please call me to claim it and schedule an interview, so that we can discuss mutual interests and how your organization would benefit from hiring me.

You won't be sorry!

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